Disney has bought Star Wars from George Lucas. This is apparently a bad thing. In the past decade Disney bought Pixar, who in that time made “Wall-E,” “Up” and “Toy Story 3.” Yes, they also made two “Cars” movies, but you can’t hit home runs all the time and people with kids tell me their children love those movies, and people with kids also tell me that as long as their kids stop screaming and pooping for 90 minutes, they don’t care what they’re watching. In 2009 Disney bought Marvel, which went on to make very satisfying Captain America, Thor and The Avengers movies and is moving forward on making more movies with very fun and interesting story choices. As somebody who used to love comic books but now loathes the idea of walking into the average comic book store, these movies have been very entertaining and fun to watch and save me from having to discuss the seventh Green Lantern and whether or not Mark Bagley’s interpretation of Spider-Man’s webs is true to the original Steve Ditko intention blaaarrrgghghhhsleep. Since the mid-90’s George Lucas has made it apparent he doesn’t give a rusty poo about what the fans think, so long as they keep shuffling in line to watch his story-free movies, buy the toys and shove the Burger King Jar-Jar Mee-sa Hungry meals into their face holes. You want a DVD of the original movies and not the thrice-tinkered-with “Special Edition” films with extra digital nonsense in the background? Fine, here’s a 2.0 stereo, poorly-transferred version as a third disc in a package for $45, you nerd-queers! Beard power! Is Disney a perfect company? Of course not - I’m sure there are whole families in Asian countries most Americans have never heard of who have lost family members to 24-hour shifts in the factory sewing up “Feelin’ Goofy” XXXL t-shirts for us to buy while waddling around the theme park alternating from shoving turkey legs in our faces to standing in line for the Racist Crows Watermelon Jamboree Slide. But when it comes to creating stories and managing “brands,” Disney has sure proven more interested in longevity and quality than Lucas has. For further evidence, please put in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” and try not to drink heavily.

Disney has bought Star Wars from George Lucas. This is apparently a bad thing.

In the past decade Disney bought Pixar, who in that time made “Wall-E,” “Up” and “Toy Story 3.” Yes, they also made two “Cars” movies, but you can’t hit home runs all the time and people with kids tell me their children love those movies, and people with kids also tell me that as long as their kids stop screaming and pooping for 90 minutes, they don’t care what they’re watching.

In 2009 Disney bought Marvel, which went on to make very satisfying Captain America, Thor and The Avengers movies and is moving forward on making more movies with very fun and interesting story choices. As somebody who used to love comic books but now loathes the idea of walking into the average comic book store, these movies have been very entertaining and fun to watch and save me from having to discuss the seventh Green Lantern and whether or not Mark Bagley’s interpretation of Spider-Man’s webs is true to the original Steve Ditko intention blaaarrrgghghhhsleep.

Since the mid-90’s George Lucas has made it apparent he doesn’t give a rusty poo about what the fans think, so long as they keep shuffling in line to watch his story-free movies, buy the toys and shove the Burger King Jar-Jar Mee-sa Hungry meals into their face holes. You want a DVD of the original movies and not the thrice-tinkered-with “Special Edition” films with extra digital nonsense in the background? Fine, here’s a 2.0 stereo, poorly-transferred version as a third disc in a package for $45, you nerd-queers! Beard power!

Is Disney a perfect company? Of course not - I’m sure there are whole families in Asian countries most Americans have never heard of who have lost family members to 24-hour shifts in the factory sewing up “Feelin’ Goofy” XXXL t-shirts for us to buy while waddling around the theme park alternating from shoving turkey legs in our faces to standing in line for the Racist Crows Watermelon Jamboree Slide.

But when it comes to creating stories and managing “brands,” Disney has sure proven more interested in longevity and quality than Lucas has.

For further evidence, please put in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” and try not to drink heavily.

Oct 31. 2 Notes.

Notes

  1. luggagetuesdays reblogged this from drewharmoncomedy and added:
    From Drew Harmon: The last Winnie the Pooh movie’s another example of what Drew is awesomely talking about.
  2. drewharmoncomedy posted this