May 2012
6 posts
April 2012
7 posts
The Client List: Reach Around And Feel It
Walter White has cancer. Tony Soprano had the mob. Detective McNulty had alcohol. And in “The Client List,” they have handjobs. In an effort to enter the fray of TV drama, Lifetime has stepped to the plate with a story of a woman who must save her family…by giving handjobs. She’s in no danger, other than of a possible shot to the eye. Nobody is threatened or will lose a...
March 2012
11 posts
February 2012
12 posts
Here We Gay Again...
My wife occasionally brings home free screener/review copies of stuff on DVD, and this morning she pulled this from her bag and said, in a wholly appropriate tone, “I got this.”
We have not watched a single frame, nor do I think the case will ever be cracked and the DVD’s contained inside will not see the light of day, much like the Ark of the Covenant, both of which will...
The jokes won't tell themselves.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in Oakland lately, what with my new hardcore lifestyle to sling them dollar bills. And my new job is in an office building in downtown Oakland, so there’s that. But picture me rollin’. However, tomorrow night I’ll be in Oakland for a different reason: comedy! After an absence from the Layover I’ll be joining a helluva lineup,...
January 2012
6 posts
It's Going Down! Ugh! Yeah! You Know!
Headline courtesy of my rapping neighbors, who spend their free time (of which they apparently have ample) recording rap songs in their studio apartment, with such groundbreaking and interesting platitudes as the above. With any luck they usually get super-high around 3 p.m., stop shouting “I got yo back, dawg!!” loudly into a microphone and just focus on playing “Call of...
December 2011
2 posts
This Just Got Diabetes-ier.
Damn, girl. Look at you. Whatchu doing with all that ass up in them jeans? Now that we’ve made it clear that I’m all about that booty, here’s another thing you should know…the ongoing food blog I’ve been working on for a couple of years just posted a new entry, over at the San Francisco Burger Blog. As usual, it’s a mix of food porn, silliness and ridiculous...
November 2011
1 post
September 2011
1 post
To Infartity, and Beyond
Hey, how are you? Good? Glad to hear it. Things have been kind of a shitstorm in the midst of a poo-hail while standing in authentic Australian Feces-boots for yours truly in the past few weeks, and in the midst of that my doctor recommend I focus on rewatching “Game of Thrones” while drinking heavily. Well, no doctor ever said that, but after two scotches you can convince yourself...
August 2011
2 posts
HOLY CRAP FART POOP
If you haven’t seen me perform in a while, I’m hilarious and awesome. But also, I have a bit I do sometimes that eventually ties into me naming a TV show, “That’s So Rapin’.” Obviously it’s genius and I’m riding sugar wheels into a field of cotton candy with writing like that, but then today I get a post from friend and comedy associate Kaseem...
Verse, Chorus, Meh.
Up until I got my first CD player, I mostly listened to tapes of “Weird” Al Yankovic and the radio. I was young and stupid, and I say that about radio, not Weird Al. Then for one of my formative teen birthdays (I think my 13th) my parents bought me a stereo with a CD player, and the first CD’s I purchased to listen to were - of course - Weird Al’s most recent album, the...
July 2011
3 posts
Blast From The Past...
Many moons ago, before the dawn of civilization, there was a thing called Myspace. On that long-forgotten site was a blogging feature, and yours truly wrote a ton of blogs. A friend once even recorded a song about how much I blogged. If I ever find it again, I will post it. In the meantime, I’m going to post a few of the old blogs for shits and giggles. Enjoy. May 19th, 2009 - Tis The...